If you’ve ever been rejected in any way, you know how much it sucks.

The boy you like says “its not you its me”, they give the job to someone else, a friend turns their back on you, we’ve all been there. But why does it hurt so bad?

According to Psychologists, rejection is felt in the same part of the brain as physical pain (neurologically speaking) which is why we respond in much the same way. Who knew? In fact we can relive or recall that social or emotional pain much better than physical pain, which is why, when you think about that one time you were rejected, you may even wince, as the feelings all come flooding back. Rejection also makes us feel angry or agressive, and often makes us internalise the feeling, and blame ourselves. We think that we get rejected because we aren’t good enough.

If you think about it more logically, rejection is not all bad. Here’s a few things to remember the next time if hits you right in the feels.

1. Rejection doesn’t mean that you aren’t wonderful, but different people look for and value different things in employees, partners etc.
2. You may not have done a single thing wrong, sometimes its just not a good fit or there’s no chemistry. The rejector may genuinely still very well think you’re awesome in every other way.
3. Don’t let it lower your standards, or change your values. Always remember who you are, and what you stand for.
4. Remember that this is not the end, there will be other opportunities, other loves, other jobs. Don’t focus so much on something that was never meant for you that you miss your destiny completely.
5. Hard as it sounds, sometimes you need to be knocked down a little to appreciate the good times. How quickly can you get back up? That’s the thing.
6. Don’t take your anger out on the next person who comes along. Don’t loose trust in people. Most are good, even those who don’t like you in that way.
7. Let it go. Sure, have a rant if that makes you feel better. And then, we’ll say it again, LET. IT. GO.