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This post has been submitted by Woman’s Aid as part of their campaign #TooIntoYou

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. It happens when the person you’re going with, or even your ex, makes you constantly question your own feelings, memories and reality. They do this to make you unsure of yourself so you rely more on them. Gaslighting gives your partner or ex power over you and it can be really confusing and distressing.

For example, if they did something that made you feel bad, they might brush you off and make you feel like you are making a big deal out of nothing:

“You’re being so dramatic.”

“You’re so emotional.”

They might accuse you of being in the wrong:

“You’re crazy – that never happened.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

They might even play the victim themselves and make you feel like you are to blame for how they are acting:

“You’re making yourself feel that way.”

“You’re a liar, why would you say that?”

“You know I would never hurt you.”

They might try to justify their actions as love:

“I only did that because I love you.”

Gaslighting can be confusing and make you feel:

  • Anxious
  • Unsure
  • Insecure

You might constantly doubt yourself or apologise without knowing what you did wrong. This can make it feel like how they treat you is all your fault, but it is not your fault.

No one deserves to treat you this way, especially the person you are going out with or your ex. Gaslighting is a serious form of emotional abuse and can get much worse over time.

If you are worried about how your partner or ex treats you, you can find information and support at toointoyou.ie