Sometimes, after we visit schools, we get emails from girls to tell us about their lives. Sometimes they ask for help, and we are happy to refer them to people in their areas that can do that. Sometimes, they want a good oul vent, and that’s grand too. Sometimes it to say they liked our trainers. Thats cool, they are nice trainers.
Last night we got an email from a girl that was really kinda lovely. She has been through a lot. Her story is awful. But here’s the thing. She is in a good place now, she’s happy, and she feels very, very lucky just to have a room of her own.
Usually, when girls write for us, we format and spell check their pieces to make them easier to read. We decided not to on this occasion because her writing is quirky, and shows her character, her individuality, and her ability to tell a story all by herself. She gave us permission to share, but we changed her name and removed a few facts that might give here game away. Make a cuppa tea and read her story and our response….. Its long but oh so worth it.
Your story… Well I’m sure tons of people will tell you your story inspired them and all that mushyness. But to me your story made me feel like I’m not the only one with difficulities in life.
You came to my school today. That was my first time meeting you obviously and honestly don’t know if I’ll ever meet you agian but that doesn’t matter because what you said to us today litterly opened my everything. Your story… Man holy, I’m just absolutely speechless. I’m so sorry to hear bout you sister. It’s amazing how emotionally strong you are with your life. You continue helping people. If that was someone else they would probably just give up. Thanks to people like you hopefully that will lessen. Ok well your kinda stranger to me and I think that’s why I feel like I trust you…. Because ur not going to tell my mum or my friends or my nana. So I really have been just dying to tell someone My Story because even though I’m only young and still have a long way with my story, it’s pretty interesting. I’ve never really told anyone my full story. And for the first time Im Going to tell a complete uterly stranger.
My name is …. I’m 14 years old and this is MY STORY: (detailed story) I was born in ……My mum was a single mum at the age of 21 and my dad well really don’t know. –fast forward 7 months– I’m diagnosed with tuberculosis. Woahhh happy days only nearly lost half a lung. But I took medice and treatment for 9 months. Now I’m close to sound. Still have it but on the bright side I have 2 kinda working lungs:) –fast forward 18 mounths from when I’m born– my mum had another baby but with a different man. –fast forward 3years– I met my dad and my family from ….. way way up …..
I have 3 aunts from my dads side and 3 uncles, a Nanie and a gaga. All which speak pure 100% boring Irish…. The weekend of ….. I was at my dads and that Sunday my dad was meant to leave me home but his back hurt so my aunt and my Nanie drove me home to …..
Unfortunately we didn’t make it the whole way. Just past…… a moterbike tried over taking my car and a jeep behind us. However there was a car driving on the wrong side of the road and boom. The moterbike crashed into my window and my car flipped, so to did the jeep. God I remember it like it was yesterday. My aunt fell out of the car, she was wearing wedged heel shoes and I was stuck but a lady wearing a pink ahift took me out(she was in some army force) and layed me on the ground I tried moving but I couldn’t. I could see my Nanie face down on the wind shield thing and my aunt laying on the ground. I heard the ambulence coming and I passed out then I woke up in the ambulence and they had a oxygen mask on my because i couldn’t brethe (tuberculosis playing tricks) they were taking glass out of my back. Ouch.
I passed out woke up in the hospital and literally screamed for about 3 weeks straight. Literly… While I was in the ambulence my mum, nana and ….were at the pony drive aNd my mum got this feeling when the ambulence passed that for some reason I was in it sadly I was. She rushed to hospital. Woke up and was pretty scared last thing I remembered was my Nanie not moving and glass aunt. Then there were tubes and oxygen masks. Horrifying. Well i remember pretty much everything bout that. My Nanie died and my aunt messed up her neck the other people in the car all died and the motorbike guy broke loads of bones so I was lucky. And I know that people will say ah well ya never go to know her, well she was my Nanie and 3 years is 1095 days. It’s a lot. Like for gods sake I know a hell a lot bout you and met ya a couple of hours ago.
Well to shorten it my uncles and aunts just gave up emotionally like there still alive except for my uncle…. he killed himself when he was young. So now my dad lets nobody drive me anywhere. I still go to therepy. Well i was 4 when I started primary school. Made tons of friends. Bla bla bla. Made my communion in Ireland then in 5th class my mum thought her let’s move to ……. So we got up with literally nothing but a few outfits and left. My nana and pops and my 2 uncles from my mums side all live in America. I started 6th grade and lived it. Thought I was all cool and was all high And mighty. But America being America didn’t like the way I wrote or spelt or talked or prounced words or wrote my numbers and tested and found out I have dislexia…. Don’t know how to spell that. It was pretty bad and horible got bullied because it took me ages to read. People called me special and simple because I don’t use big words because I have to make rimes to help me spell like because – big elephants can understand small elefants.
Ugh well 7th grade I lost tins of friends and shut down. I guess you could say I was just spending more time studying but I was really writing to my Nanie. I would write books well maybe not books but you know. Then I would set them on fire in the park. Well then the summer of 7th grade I came home for a month with my nana. By holy Jesus that helped me realize I need to move home to feck. So I went back to New York and cried. For about 4 months in my room. Refused to go to school. But still went because I’m like that. I get mad at my mum and before were even done fighting I’ve already apologized. Well around December 2015 I met this girl Maria and she reminded me of Ireland for some reason. She just understood me or at leaste I thought she did. Unfortunately it was like looking at a really shiny rock and opening it and it being hollow.
So really she was just poison. She gave me my first drink my first joint my first house party…. Yup so she helped destroy my school life. I starting ditching class. Hanging around w bad people not coming home doing horrible in school. But at leaste I had friends. Or people who acted like friends. I really didn’t care if they were fake at leaste for the time we were talk in they acted like they cared. Well then I copped on got my stuff together and realize … what on earth are you doing. The stuff I was smoking w these people was putting wholes literally wholes in my glan things and rapidly damaging my lungs, as if I didn’t have enogh wrong with them. So ,may came along I shut down again.
But this time instead of trying to find ways to make life better I came up with solutions snd actually put them into action. So during free classes I’d write out money expenses and researched jobs and schools. Come June I presented all my idea to my mum and it took her a while but she got it. And wait forgot to tell you the other struggle. When we moved my mum met this nice Colombian guy named …. POSION. He broke all my mums phones. Literally stopped my mums life for 3 years. She was r allowed to talk to boys (close friends) wasn’t allowed to keep in touch with Irish people. Or work. He thought she was cheating on him with her boss. Ya have to be stupid to think that. So that was year 1. Year 2 he abused her. Year 3, it was the best, kinda. He abused her, he went on drugs and our house was horrible. And then he got arrested and sent to jail. He’s currently still behind bars. Jez never told anyone that.
See my mum would have broke up with him but rent was so expensive that without him we’d live in my grandparents house and by house I mean 2 bedroom apartment. But my mum wanted them to be proud of her cause she has too kids w different dads and is still single so we all kept shut. But thank god in June we came home for a family wedding and then June 16th 2016 my mum said to me and … ” kids we go back to New York for 1 month. We pack and we come homme”. I was never happier. Now I’m in 3rd year and I’m back with my old friends and I’m so happy. I have my own room. My mums happy marks happy. I’m safe and healthy. I love life and everyone who sounds sad I always tell them, to get to the rainbow you have to go threw the rain first. Thank you for reading this.
Little Miss Legend (Not her real name)
Heres the thing. I’m not a counsellor or a therapist. I’m just a girl who went through some stuff and thinks about it a lot and wants to help other girls stay on track and become all the things the universe wants them to be. So I can’t give you proper professional advice and I can’t tell you what you need to hear but I can tell you this.
I like you. All the smartest, strongest, wisest, most proactive people I know have dealt with some stuff in their lives. Every. Single. One.
I love that you wrote that for me. I love that you rise above it and tell it like it is. I love that you are happy because you have your own room. Because you realise what a luxury that is for so many. I love that you know that in spite of all the things you went through, that you know how lucky you are.
I would love to hang out with you on this glorious beach here in ….and throw shells in the water and breathe the air and be thankful that we are both safe, that we are strong and that the world is at our feet.
People spend their whole entire lives chasing money, power, and things. Those people will never know the peace of walking away from a bad situation and closing the door on a past that was hurtful. And for me, nothing is more fulfilling than helping others. And reading emails like yours 🙂
Make your Nanie proud, go be awesome. Prove everyone wrong. Tell me all about it because I really want to hear about how me helping you made you help yourself and maybe, someday, someone else.
And most of all, mind yourself.