Put me in any room with any group of girls and I’ll always be the weird one. I just don’t fit in.
My parents are very religious, and that has had a huge effect on molding me as a person. I didn’t have a phone until I turned 14 and that was just so they could check in with me. We never really watched TV, listened to music, or interacted with anyone outside of the church.
It was okay in Primary school, I got on with the boys and girls in my class. Nobody was mean to me but I was never invited to birthday parties and was always the last one picked for sports teams. That was okay, I didn’t like sport anyway.
But when I started in an all-girls secondary school there was nowhere to hide. My Mom knitted my school jumper and attached an old crest and bought me a skirt to my ankles. I stood out from day one. I never asked for attention, it was the last thing I wanted.
I’m going to be really honest here, I don’t really know if I believe in God, and I feel that there’s a lot going on in the world that I’m missing out on. I’m 16 and I’ve never worn make-up, watched Love Island, or been to a disco. I don’t know anything about celebrities, or boys, and I’ve never set foot in a Zara store. It might not be for me either but I feel like I’d like to give it a try.
Sometimes I listen to the girls in my class chatting, and I desperately want to join in. I rack my brains trying to think of something to say, but by the time I come up with something that might not be stupid, they’ve already moved on. So I just say nothing, as usual.
But the thing about being the one who never talks is that you see everything. I know that girls in my class have been self-harming, then I’ve heard the most popular girl in school throwing up in the bathroom. I can see that some of them are struggling, and I noticed that they never talk about these things. They always talk about their perfect lives. Is anyone buying that?
I’m a nice person, I know that. I’m kind and smart, and I could be a good friend. But it’s like nobody sees me and I will go through life being invisible.
So if you’re reading this, do me a favour. Tomorrow, when you go into class, look for the weird girl. Go say hi.
She won’t bite you….
This post was sent to us following a workshop in the past few weeks. We love it. We were the weird girls too xxx
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