Us girls are divils for judging each other. Instead of embracing our differences, we constantly compete to be the prettiest, the smartest, the most popular, the most athletic, the skinniest. When we look in the mirror, we always look at our faults, and therefore, looking for faults in others makes us feel better about ourselves. This ‘shaming ‘ is a form of bullying, and it’s not okay.
Here are a few things we really need to stop shaming each other for.
Appearance has been found to be the number one bullying factor, with 51% saying that they have been bullied because of how they look. You will never please everyone, and how you look is how you look, so do you. If you want to have pink hair, a 90’s perm, or a face tattoo, that’s your own business (okay, please don’t get a face tattoo, we just put that in there for impact).
2. Dress size.
‘Fat shaming’ and “skinny shaming” are both harmful, and size is nothing but a number. Once you treat your body with respect, that’s the most important thing. Love it for the vehicle it is and all it allows you to do.
We all enjoy different things, have different opinions, and are attracted to different people for different reasons. It takes every type of person to make the world go round. So what if you like headbanging to heavy metal, and the next girl plays jazz piano, we bet if you chat enough you’ll find something else in common.
4. Being Single.
Firstly, and let us be clear, being in a relationship doesn’t make you more of a person, or make you better than anyone else. Some people feel that if they’re not in a relationship, they’re not good enough.
Unfortunately, lots of these people stay in relationships that are destructive or bad for them, rather than be alone. Also, know that not having a partner doesn’t mean you are alone. You have other amazing relationships with friends and family, that can be more fulfilling and last years longer. There’s way too much pressure on young people to find a partner. Take your time, have some fun!
5. Slut shaming.
We, women, have no right to presume that we know how many relationships other girls have had, and what they’re doing in those relationships. We also have no right to judge them for what choices they make. Slut-shaming comes from an outdated and unrealistic view that girls shouldn’t be involved in relationships before marriage. It is up to each girl to set her own rules, once she is at an appropriate age, respects herself, and is careful.
Whether you are attracted to boys or girls, or both, is your own business. It’s also something you can’t control. Love is love. End of discussion.
7. Mental health.
Mental Health struggles were historically seen as a sign of weakness. If you or someone you know has to deal with anxiety or depression on a daily basis, you will understand the sheer strength and determination it takes to ask for help and to fight back against it. We can all learn from those who are overcoming challenges and should admire them so much more than those who have it easy.
Women take all shapes and forms, some of us are teeny tiny whilst others are strong as be-damned with muscles that could break iron. Some of us like to wear makeup and high heels, and others prefer flats and the bare-faced look. Also, some girls are out kicking ass, standing up for themselves, and demanding the same options in life as men. Strong women are not feminazis, bossy bitches, or ballbreakers.
9. Family Background.
We all come from different backgrounds, some of us are very lucky, and will have every opportunity to make something of ourselves. Others will start with nothing and have no one to rely on but themselves to create a bright future. These are the people who will rise to the top, because they did it for and by themselves, and have strength, smarts, and can handle stress.
Also, some of us come from homes where there are no role models. Not having the perfect family, and the mistakes of our parents do not define us. We define ourselves.
How many followers do you have on Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat? How many likes did your last Instagram picture get? Urggh, so over this conversation. Who cares.
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If you need a little bit of help and want to reach out, here are some supports available in Ireland 💖
SPUN OUT: This is a one-stop-shop for all mental health issues. The articles are very matter of fact, helpful, and all bases are covered.
TACKLE BULLYING: Lots of resources for kids, parents, and teachers on dealing with bullying.
BODYWHYS: Online, phone, and group support for eating disorders.
CHILDLINE: Helpline and online support, offering advice and support to young people under 18.
BELONGTO: Support for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals in Ireland.
YOURMENTALHEALTH: Lots of information about Mental Health in Ireland.