Ah love, what a dose. When its good its good, and when its bad it sucks.
Bess Myerson said…
āto fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.ā
Weāve all been there Bess, keep the faith.
If youāre currently nursing a broken heart, we know how much you want the pain to stop, and we also know that you canāt just turn off your feelings. Love doesnāt go away because you want it to, these things take time.
Heartache is a form of grief, and grief has stages that you might recognise:
- Denial:Ā They didnāt really mean what they said, theyāll come back.
- Anger:Ā How dare he? Imma slash his tyres!
- Bargaining:Ā Maybe if I was prettier, taller, smarter, he/she would love meā¦
- Depression:Ā I will NEVER go on another date again. Life sucks!
- Acceptance:Ā Okay, thats it, Iām done thinking about this, pass my lippyā¦
Here are our top tips to get through this crappy time and move on:
Unfollow
Do it now, immediately, stop scrolling through their feeds agonising over who liked their posts and looking for signs of a new girl. We see you! STOPPIT!
Stop blaming yourself
People are attracted to different things at different times. You werenāt compatible. But all the reasons why he/she werenāt into you might be the things that the next person adores. You donāt need to change your looks or personality. Have faith in yourself.
Learn
Eckhart Tolle says, āLife will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.ā In other words, each relationship is a learning experience, and you will get better at it with time. Maybe you need to communicate better, or maybe you need to trust your gut when the warning signs show. Donāt make the same mistakes again, make new ones!
Pamper yourself
If you want to eat a tub of Phish Food, knock yourself out! Listen to Adele on repeat while youāre at it. But put a time limit on it,and then go for a walk, listen to a Ted Talk or go out with your friends and try to do something that makes you feel positive.
Donāt look for revenge
As Nelson Mandela said, āResentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies.ā Yes, they may deserve it, but that doesnāt make it right or helpful. Let it go.
Talk
Donāt keep it all bottled up as itāll intensify in your mind. Cry it all out to someone you love and trust. Thatās what besties are for!
Donāt lower your standards
This one didnāt work, and that sucks, but, cliched as it sounds, there is someone our there for you.Ā As Mark Twain said,Ā āNeverĀ allowĀ someoneĀ to be yourĀ priorityĀ while allowing yourself to be their option.ā Save all your love and energy for someone who deserves the best of you.
āThe emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals itā¦ā ā Nicholas Sparks
If you need a good cry session, here’s a Spotify playlist that’ll get you through x