Ah love, what a dose. When its good its good, and when its bad it sucks.
Bess Myerson said…
âto fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.â
Weâve all been there Bess, keep the faith.
If youâre currently nursing a broken heart, we know how much you want the pain to stop, and we also know that you canât just turn off your feelings. Love doesnât go away because you want it to, these things take time.
Heartache is a form of grief, and grief has stages that you might recognise:
- Denial:Â They didnât really mean what they said, theyâll come back.
- Anger:Â How dare he? Imma slash his tyres!
- Bargaining: Maybe if I was prettier, taller, smarter, he/she would love meâŚ
- Depression:Â I will NEVER go on another date again. Life sucks!
- Acceptance: Okay, thats it, Iâm done thinking about this, pass my lippyâŚ
Here are our top tips to get through this crappy time and move on:
Unfollow
Do it now, immediately, stop scrolling through their feeds agonising over who liked their posts and looking for signs of a new girl. We see you! STOPPIT!
Stop blaming yourself
People are attracted to different things at different times. You werenât compatible. But all the reasons why he/she werenât into you might be the things that the next person adores. You donât need to change your looks or personality. Have faith in yourself.
Learn
Eckhart Tolle says, âLife will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.â In other words, each relationship is a learning experience, and you will get better at it with time. Maybe you need to communicate better, or maybe you need to trust your gut when the warning signs show. Donât make the same mistakes again, make new ones!
Pamper yourself
If you want to eat a tub of Phish Food, knock yourself out! Listen to Adele on repeat while youâre at it. But put a time limit on it,and then go for a walk, listen to a Ted Talk or go out with your friends and try to do something that makes you feel positive.
Donât look for revenge
As Nelson Mandela said, âResentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies.â Yes, they may deserve it, but that doesnât make it right or helpful. Let it go.
Talk
Donât keep it all bottled up as itâll intensify in your mind. Cry it all out to someone you love and trust. Thatâs what besties are for!
Donât lower your standards
This one didnât work, and that sucks, but, cliched as it sounds, there is someone our there for you. As Mark Twain said, âNever allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.â Save all your love and energy for someone who deserves the best of you.
âThe emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals itâŚâ â Nicholas Sparks
If you need a good cry session, here’s a Spotify playlist that’ll get you through x