Whether you met in playschool, or connected on the first day of first year, you’ve felt this connection with your bff that you have had with no one else. You’ve had so many sleepovers your parents haven’t seen you apart in years, cried together when BTS went on hiatus and watched every episode of Riverdale, no matter how cringe it got. But lately you have grown apart and you really feel that your friendship is more hard work than it used to be.

Here’s how you know if the friendship has gone toxic, and its time to break up.

1: You never get a word in.

When was the last time she asked how you are and if you’re happy? When you’re going through a hard time, does she sit and listen or does the conversation always come back to her problems/crushes/dramas? A bff should be there for you as much as you are for them.

2: Everything feels like a competition.

You did well in your exam, and instead of congratulating you, she reminds you that she did better. You mention that you saw a pair of runners you love online. The next week she has them. You like a guy, but she does too and she saw him first.

3: You’re the only one who texts and suggests meet ups.

If you’re not sure, check your phone. When was the last time she texted you first?

4: She brings you down.

If everything she says is negative, it can bring you down too and affect your mood. Does she constantly talk about how she hates everyone and everything?  If you think she’s depressed, talk to someone for advice, but otherwise, spend some time away from her and see if it helps.

5: She talks you down in front of people she fancies.

There is no excuse for this. End of.

6: You feel relieved when she doesn’t turn up for hangouts.

Is there always a tension and a feeling of uneasiness when she’s around.? Do you feel drained from her presence? That’s not right surely?

If all the above apply, just spend some time away from her and ask yourself if the friendship has run its course. If you have come to the decision that it’s time to end of it, it’s important to do it in a kind and honest way.

First of all, don’t take this the wrong way, but maybe she feels the same, and is over your drama also, but doesn’t know how to handle it either. This is actually the best-case scenario because it means she won’t fight you on this. Just phase it out slowly with no showdown, see her less and less over a few weeks or months and just let it happen. At the end of the day, if she hasn’t done anything awful to you, there’s no reason why you can’t be okay with each other when you meet, so try to keep it easy.

If a showdown has to happen, just remember the following:

Number one: Be honest.

Don’t lie and say that you’re busy or have something else on. You will surely forget and post a picture on Instagram or Bereal of yourself having fun without her.

Number Two: Is it worth bringing it up?

If she did something that has really upset you, think about if it’s worth bringing it up. Will she genuinely understand and be sorry? If not you’ll just end up more frustrated.

Number Three: Don’t put it all on them.

Acknowledge that you just grew apart and that no one is to blame.

Number Four: Don’t bring it to social media.

Trust us on this one, as much as you might want to get your side of the story out, it’s not worth it. You’ll just be airing out your drama for others entertainment and gossip. As much as you may want to, one day you’ll look back and thank us!

Number Five: Wish her well.

At the end of the day, while you don’t want to be part of her everyday life, they were your bff at some stage, surely you want her to be happy, just happy somewhere else. Focus on the positive and be mature.

As much as it may hurt right now, one day you’ll look back and be glad you dropped the negativity and stress from your life! You’ll find a new BFF and it’ll will stop hurting as much.

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