A lot of people think because I’ve written a blog I’ve been cured of my own mental health struggles and honestly that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m not cured I don’t even think there is a “cure” however, I’ve learned to manage and not let My Black Dog dictate my day.
This morning for example wasn’t a good one. I woke up feeling like absolute shit. I’ve no explanation for it. Nothing happened yesterday. I went on a date and had fun. So why did I wake up feeling like shit? I woke up and did the whole “fuck sake not again.” “why me?” and all that malarkey. It’s impossible to just wake up like that and go okay put a smile on your face and just get over it. Well, it’s not impossible it’s what I used to do. As a result, I would spend my day smiling and laughing and acting normal but on the verge of crying all day long until I got back into bed and I could start crying. I got sick of that and decided I had to do something about it. So now, I don’t let that happen.
This morning wasn’t going to be any different. It was 12:25 when I woke up, and in my heart I didn’t want to get up at all today but I knew it wouldn’t help. I gave myself until 12:35 to feel awful. I said right you’re getting 10 minutes of my time. So I let my head do it’s thinking for ten minutes and said right okay that’s it you’re outta here, back into your cage. Now don’t get me wrong, that wasn’t me sorted for the day but it was a positive start. I got up and I knew what I had to do.
Think of every cringey love actually type movie out there and cut to the scene where the protagonist is dancing around the kitchen with the hoover singing “build me up buttercup”, that was me less than an hour ago. I walked into the kitchen to see the dreaded list of things I was supposed to have done before my mother got home, put on my speaker and off I went. I’m praying no one looked in the kitchen window as they passed my house because they’d think I was having some sort of fit.
But I sang and danced like literally no one was watching and as silly as that sounds I feel so much better. Plus I got all of the jobs done with 5 minutes to spare which was spent writing this with a mug of tea. Moral of my story is, just because I started a blog doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days too. I am however interested in finding new ways to make myself manage the day better. So if you’re lying in bed still or feeling down, just for me get your favourite ass shaking song and dance around the kitchen. Home alone or not, do it. Invite whoever is there to do it too. Even if you already feel good it’ll help you feel great. Shake your booty like you’re Beyoncé and win your day.
Ash x
