Are you eating Ben and Jerrys straight from the tub and watching the Gilmore Girls in your peejays?
Chances are your heart has just been broken. We feel you.
If for one second you are thinking that its in any way because you’re not enough, or that you did anything wrong, STOP RIGHT THERE!
Every single one of us knows what unrequited love feels like, and some of the world’s most successful, powerful, beautiful women have watched that same episode, in those same jammies, eating that same carton of phish food.
Heres what some of them have to say about it:
“I think everyone kind of goes through [heartbreak]. It definitely isn’t a good feeling. I think having surgery is definitely a lot easier — having a pulmonary embolism is definitely a lot easier than a heartbreak.” — Piers Morgan Live, May 2012
“At first I didn’t care [about the tabloid scrutiny]. To me it was: I’m 18, I have a boyfriend, we look cute together, we like that. Then I got my heart broken and I cared. Because people had no idea what was going on, but everywhere it was a million different things.” — W magazine, February 2016
“There is so much hurt in this game of searching for a mate, of testing, trying. And you realize suddenly that you forgot it was a game, and turn away in tears.” ― The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath, 1982
“My best advice for moving on from a relationship is you gotta go all the way through it. If you don’t want to let go yet, keep on calling and getting hung up on. Keep on following him around and getting embarrassed. When you get tired enough, you will evolve, I promise. But you gotta go all the way through it. You know, you gotta get your weave snatched out a couple more times. You gotta keep moving. Go through it. You’ll evolve.” — her Twitter, December 2015
“He broke up with me. It was years ago that that breakup happened … [I was] so sad. Not angry. Sad, sad. That was the hottest I’ve ever looked because I stopped eating. When I get depressed I stop eating. So I was so miserable and so beautiful.” — “Howard Stern Show,” September 2014
“Imagine spreading everything you care about on a blanket and then tossing the whole thing up in the air. The process of divorce is about loading that blanket, throwing it up, watching it all spin, and worrying what stuff will break when it lands.” — Yes Please, October 2014
“People always say that once it goes away, you forget the pain. It’s a cliché of childbirth: you forget the pain. I don’t happen to agree. I remember the pain. What you really forget is love. Divorce seems as if it will last forever, and then suddenly, one day, your children grow up, move out, and make lives for themselves. The divorce has lasted way longer than the marriage, but finally it’s over … The point is that for a long time, the fact that I was divorced was the most important thing about me. And now it’s not.” — I Remember Nothing: and Other Reflections, 2010
“There were two weeks of my life after I found out the truth of my marriage where I was like, ‘OK. All right. I can’t feel this. This is too intense right now.’ I was, like, just eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and drinking, and that’s it … There are two ways you can go: You can either nurture yourself or go destructive. I have gone down the destructive path before, and that didn’t work for me. You dig deep beyond those scars and find that soft tissue again, and you massage and nurture it and bring it to life, little by little, through serving yourself well. I did it through hikes and vitamins and therapy and prayer and good friends.” — Marie Claire, January 2014
“If you are among the brokenhearted today, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know what you are feeling. There’s a hole in centre of your chest that nobody can see, and it feels like your soul is leaking right through it. You either cannot sleep at all, or you sleep all day. You either cannot eat at all, or you cannot stop eating. You are either dead numb, or you cannot stop sobbing. You are either incapable of working, or terrified that somebody will make you stop working and then you will have to focus on your terrible sorrow. … I guarantee you — we have all been there. Every single one of us. And if we could survive it, you can, too.” — “A Letter to the Brokenhearted,” her Facebook, January 2015
“I was crawling on the floor. I remember throwing up. Like, within the hour … I have never felt anything quite like that. It was so visceral. It’s like someone has killed you and you have to live through it and watch it happen … It was awful.” — Interview, August 2012
“[Divorce is] very humiliating and very isolating … But, by the way, if it’s not painful, maybe it wasn’t the right decision to marry to begin with. Those are the appropriate emotions.” — Elle, March 2009
“There’s just been this earth-shattering, not recent, but absolute crash-and-burn heartbreak, and that will turn out to be what the next album is about. The only way that I can feel better about myself — pull myself out of that awful pain of losing someone — is writing songs about it to get some sort of clarity.” — Vogue, January 2012
“I was very lost. I have to say I felt really confused. I hate talking about it but it was really crazy because I felt so out of touch with myself and when that happens it’s scary because nothing you say or do feels like it’s you. You just lose touch of everything that you love and everything that you would normally do; how you would dress or how you would say something … [But] once you’re back on your feet — if you ever make it back on your feet — that’s the ultimate achievement. I remember I was in New York at the Trump Hotel and I woke up and I just knew I was over it. It was a different day. I felt different. I didn’t feel lonely. I felt like I wanted to get up and be in the world. That was a great, great feeling.” — Marie Claire UK, December 2010
“I think the thing that I have learn[ed] is that a bad love experience is no reason to fear a new love experience. But you have to be very honest at every single stage with the person about how you’ve been hurt, and hopefully they will be supportive about whatever it is that you have to go through … Everybody has bad relationships and, at the end of the day, they are just a great way to set yourself up for a good relationship.” — The Telegraph, 2010
“When I went through a really intense breakup — you know, I was engaged — and when I was with [Liam] or when I was on Disney, the thing that gave me the most anxiety was not knowing what to do with myself when Disney wasn’t there to carry me anymore or if I didn’t have him. And now I’m free of both of those things, and I’m fine. Like, I lay in bed at night by myself and I’m totally okay, and that’s so much stronger than the person three years ago, who would have thought they would have died if they didn’t have a boyfriend.” — Elle, May 2014
“Your old lovers get to be your really old lovers, and you can’t remember who broke up with who, or who got mad at who — just that the two of you remember things that no one else in the world does.” — New York Times, March 2014
Heres a Spotify playlist that just gets you: