The last time we met Abigail she was learning to deal with her mental health issues, and discovered that talking and being open about how she feels is the first step. We checked in with her again and she’s doing really well. Here’s her update x

Putting myself first has always been hard for me to do. I would worry about others more than myself and would be afraid about coming off as selfish if I did put myself first. I knew that I was a people pleaser, and because of this, I didn’t really know who I was as a person. Obviously, I wasn’t very happy in myself because of this, in fact, I really didn’t like myself at all. Forever self-conscious.

2017 was the year I truly decided to focus on myself and I have never been happier.

This year, I have achieved things I thought I never would’ve been able to before. I finally gave myself a proper chance to grow, instead of worrying about other people. Maybe this sounds selfish to some, but for me it was so needed, I needed to get to know myself again, find who I really was.

Nearly nine months into the year now and I’m so proud about how much I’ve grown. I really love who I am.

I really think focusing on myself was one of the best things I’ve done. It probably sounds so simple and stupid that I had to make myself put me first, but it was hard. Every time I did something new this year, in the back of my head there was a voice telling me to consider what other people would think before I did it. Slowly but surely, I’ve drowned that voice out. I know what’s good for me, and I do what’s best for me. Deprogramming yourself to not care about what other people think is so so tough, but the freedom you get from not caring is so liberating. Since leaving secondary school, I’ve taught myself to be who I want to be. It’s my life and I cannot control what others think of me, so there’s no point in wasting my time worrying about it.

To girls or guys feeling unsure about who they are, or feeling uncomfortable in their skin, I urge you to take a step back from the madness of life and focus on yourself. Do the things that you’ve always wanted to do, wear the clothes you’ve always wanted to wear, be the person you’ve always wanted to be. Once you find who you are and embrace it you’ll never be happier.

2017 has been my year, the first of many years that I truly dedicate to myself, because no matter what anyone says, I deserve it.

2017 has been the year I’ve travelled by myself for the first time, to improve on a language I’ve always wanted to learn but never thought I could do.

2017 has been the year I became a mental health ambassador, working hard to break the stigma surrounding mental health. Never in a million years did I think I would have the confidence to put myself out there and do this.

2017 has been the year I told the world about my mental health experience. Something I had never wanted anyone to know about, but now I am strong and confident and all I want to do is help others.

2017 has been the year I started my relationship with Shona.ie, an amazing website for girls, where lifting girls up and giving them, confidence is the most important thing.

2017 has been the year when I learned to love myself again. Ever since suffering from depression and anxiety, I completely forgot how to like myself, let alone love myself. I am so proud of who I’ve become and I cannot wait to see what else I can achieve in this year and years to come.

 

Abigail x